It is a luxurious, 5 star hotel set in 100 acres of beautiful land.
The gardens are an amazing experience in themselves.
There are summer houses and ponds here and there, which a Llama can book per hour for some quiet contemplation on the meaning of life (and when we say meaning of life we mean the meaning of 'Mulholland Drive').
There is a croquet lawn for those of us who yearn for the olden days when England was how it should be - a green and pleasant land. There is, at the opposite end of the spectrum, an enclosed building covered in graffiti where raves/drunken parties/orgies are held sometimes for the younger Llama (or for the older Llama who is young at heart).
Inside, there are 500 floors, each with 100 rooms on them. Each room is exquisitely designed to the highest standards. You will have a sea view whatever room you book (because there are sea views painted on all the windows).
Although there are so many rooms, Hotel Llama is very popular all year round, so it is best to try and book in plenty of time.
There is an extensive gym, a beauty parlour, restaurants, shops, cinemas, cafes, banks and even an array of lady Llama prostitutes if you are in the mood for a bit of hanky-panky.
You can stay at Hotel Llama for a very long time and never have to leave the building. Your every need is catered for.
There is entertainment in the evenings, provided mainly by us:- poetry readings, stand-up comedy, lapdancing and so on.
The room service at the Hotel Llama is excellent.
In conclusion, you will feel like you have died and gone to Llama Heaven.